HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared
it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle ‘s Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how
the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at
which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions
that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion,we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as
they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell because Boyle ‘s Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two
possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her
last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that
Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this
theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not
accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct…….leaving only
Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa
kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.